2025-04-22 22:50![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
anarchonurzox
anarchonurzoxI'm gonna be honest. I'm feeling kinda burnt out. Just too much between work and dealing with Jimmy and the house and cleaning and church and idk what else that just has to be done. The trip was nice because I just had to think about the next few weeks. Yes, travel and scheduling was a bit much, and I got sick a few times because I was so tired, but I didn't feel so almost depressed by everything. I just feel so unmotivated that I'm spending time playing video games and I know that's not good for me either but it's a thing to do that will take my mind off of all the other things I have to do.
I wish I could talk to Jimmy about this but he would just put it all on himself and be all "oh i'm a terrible husband" and that would honestly just make it worse - I don't have the emotional bandwidth to handle him doing another woe-is-me spiel. I'd talk to my friends about it but at this point I don't really have any because we moved away from everyone and they're not really interested in being friends anymore (who can blame them ig) and I don't have any here yet. I guess I could get a therapist (lol) but that's expensive just to be whiny and there's not really a "fix" for this - I just need some time off from "adulting" as the kids say but I'm not going to get it so I might as well just buck up and deal. But that's really getting overwhelming and I don't know what to do.
This is a bit more personal than usual but I've been really inconsistent on a lot of things and I feel myself dropping balls and this is one of them so why not use the journal site for a bit of actual journaling lol.
I wish I could talk to Jimmy about this but he would just put it all on himself and be all "oh i'm a terrible husband" and that would honestly just make it worse - I don't have the emotional bandwidth to handle him doing another woe-is-me spiel. I'd talk to my friends about it but at this point I don't really have any because we moved away from everyone and they're not really interested in being friends anymore (who can blame them ig) and I don't have any here yet. I guess I could get a therapist (lol) but that's expensive just to be whiny and there's not really a "fix" for this - I just need some time off from "adulting" as the kids say but I'm not going to get it so I might as well just buck up and deal. But that's really getting overwhelming and I don't know what to do.
This is a bit more personal than usual but I've been really inconsistent on a lot of things and I feel myself dropping balls and this is one of them so why not use the journal site for a bit of actual journaling lol.
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